Rough day so far. Autoimmune flare. Breathing is problematic. Pluerisy. Coughing. Shortness of breath. The only good thing about it is it makes my already sexy phone voice more husky, so possibly more sexy?
Immune system is being a shit and not letting things heal. Anemia is manifesting, it was made worse with this last menstrual cycle. Heavy. Like elevator doors from The Shining. Clots. Flooding. Likely contributing to that air starved feeling. Fighting a bladder infection that I initially thought was an International Cystitis flare. Second one I have had since I went into isolation. Fuck you Covid, for so many reasons.
Processing grief. Rummaged about in my Other Mum’s craft room and brought her serger sewing machine home. Also an encyclopedia on Needlework techniques. I feel like a thief. Her spirit insists I am not, and logically I know this. Grief is a bitch though. As is accepting and processing hard feelings. Thank every God that has ever existed for therapy. I would be a royal mess right now without the skills I learnt in the last two years.
Tears. Lots of tears. Freely flowing. Which has been hard to come by the last few months. I may still hate crying but I have fully accepted how helpful it is for me in processing my emotions. Tears help your brain get rid of excess brain chemicals. ADHD means when I have emotions, of any kind, they are literally bigger. Higher levels of the brain chemicals associated with said emotions. So crying literally helps get rid of the emotions I am processing.
I get to wear my new shirt though. I don’t ever want to take it off. Made it with my bestie, yesterday. Favourite style of shirt, thanks to my other bestie for picking it out, AND camo print. Totally my jam. Witches. Pretty ladies. Red. Sparkles. Deliciousness. It’s seriously the best.
Since solids are problematic before noon I made my version of bullet-proof coffee. Ups the calories. Lactose-free 10% coffee cream heated in the microwave, a tablespoon of butter, froth with an Aerolatte for as long as I can stand it. Pour into coffee. Add cinnamon. Stir. Enjoy. Delicious. Self-care. It is a lot of steps though so my executive function isn’t always feeling up to it.
The kiddo’s put the new She-ra on again so that’s fantastic. I have also been unintentionally off of my psych meds for a week now. Issues with the pharmacy and clinic communicating about my refill. Currently awaiting a phone call from the clinic to get the refill sent to the pharmacy. Bleh.
I am feeling very unwell today. The barometric pressure has been doing this rollercoaster thing for the majority of the winter. It’s been really rough. Particularly with having to recover from surgery.
The symptoms I’m having right now are the ones that really get to me. I’m used to pain and stiffness and having to gently push through it. These symptoms I can’t really alleviate the I can with pain and stiffness.
The list includes: dizzy, exhaustion, lethargy, light headed, unsteady on my feet, upright is hard. The longer I remain upright, the harder it is to do so. Shakes, swelling, feeling like I’m going to faint. Ugh.
Edited to add: Did some very gentle hip opening stretching, did get a small amount of relief for a moderate period of time. Also did some stretches for my neck/t-zone that a physical therapist taught me when I was pregnant with Fintan.
Pretty awful today overall. A lot of myofacial pain, some joint pain. Joint pain on the right side; wrist, hip, ankle. My spine, t-zone included, also bad. Nausea, hot/cold flashes, sweats, sinus congestion, mucousy cough lingers. Nerve/spine pain is bad right this second. My jaw has been very painful, a headache accompanies this of course. There was some major upheavals yesterday, I’m guessing that’s why I feel extra awful today. Stupid stress hormones.
Still managed to care for two kids mostly myself, make breakfast/lunch/dinner, also got a nap thanks to my spouse. Oh and Little Bug (the baby) woke up at 3am and didn’t really go back to sleep. She’s a handful right now. Four months old today, so she is hitting a growth spurt plus sleep regression and teething. Plus my son has been acting out more due to the changes. Still seriously considering getting him assessed. He’s been having bad screaming fits when upset/angry/frustrated. He’s a great big brother, I’m really proud of him.
I have a good friend coming to visit tomorrow. We’ve managed to hang out almost every Sunday for the past month and a bit. Mainly because they come here. So that will be nice. Kidlets will be off visiting with my parents.
Meds: Tylenol Arthritis x 2 doses(4 pills), Naproxen 500mg x 2, Paroxetine x 2
Main symptoms: deep aching pain in muscles and joints, mild brain fog, hot flashes, mild fever, moderate-severe fatigue
Worked six days this week, have tomorrow off for church(as long as I don’t sleep in), then back to it on Monday. I have no Tylenol 3’s left. R gave me mild chiding for not telling him how the clinic doc pretty much said she wouldn’t refill me again. Must call GP on Monday to get a proper refill. There is a pulse to the pain, which is pretty common for me. Tropical storm so-and-so is sending it’s after effects to the West Coast of Canada and Gods can I feel it. Ugh.