Heat Wave and Disappointments

Ugh. That is the word of the day. It’s hot, we are having a heat wave this weekend. Highs in the 30C area, at night it’s about 15-20C. Wreaks havoc with my chronic illness. The kids had a rough week, the older is still having sleeping/eating/meltdown issues as well as teething (he lost his first tooth and the adult tooth replacing it is coming in fast), the younger is teething and growing so eating and waking a lot. My Mom brought me her old mobility scooter now that we’ve moved and have the space to store it, that’s been very helpful. It helped me get out to see her yesterday for her birthday. It’s now been a week since my surgery, healing is slow as I expected it to be (there’s a whole post in the works for that). I’m having issues getting up and down the stairs today. We got a good walk in though to loosen things up. There is a family gathering tonight that I completely forgot about that we aren’t going to. This has upset people greatly. I hate how taking care of myself leads to unhappiness and disappointment in others, let alone myself. I’m enjoying the time with my husband and kids today but I’m really unhappy about people being unhappy with me for taking care of myself. Well they aren’t unhappy with me personally, at least I hope not. Just sad about the situation. Thing is this same person gives me crap for not getting enough rest and self care and whatnot. Just feels like I can’t make anyone happy, least of all myself.
I’m seriously considering medication for depression again. Probably Wellbutrin since it will help with the smoking. I also need something for my Fibromyalgia, and need to discuss my worsening joint pain and such. My rheumatologist moved my May appointment to August. It will be almost a year between appointments. I am not pleased with my current quality of care. I can’t even find a family doctor close to my new home, I don’t think finding a new rheumatologist is going to be any easier. I need a vacation from life or something. 

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Short Update – July 7th, 2015

I feel awful without my meds. I am taking 2-3 Tylenol 3’s over the course of the day. My doctor prescribed them for me so I could take less of the OTC Tylenol w/ codeine and my high dose Naproxen. It is working out well. When I have taken my Naproxen it was for three days at a time, which I’ve done twice. Codeine kinda fucks me up but whatever.

Work is hectic and exhausting. So far the only good thing about it is I’ve been closer to home. And the cash I guess, we need the money.

We are in the middle of a heat wave and what I would call a drought. Too tired to find you sources at the moment. The forest fires are really bad and have blanketed my region in smoke. There was a fire on the other side of the mountain from us just the other day. Excitement. (Note the sarcasm). My breathing has been yucky. Need to call the doctors office about my lung function appointment.

There’s other stuff going on in my personal life that I won’t get into here but it is also exhausting.

I’m in a grumpy, exhausted, “just done” head space today. At least I have less walks then yesterday.