I am feeling very unwell today. The barometric pressure has been doing this rollercoaster thing for the majority of the winter. It’s been really rough. Particularly with having to recover from surgery.
The symptoms I’m having right now are the ones that really get to me. I’m used to pain and stiffness and having to gently push through it. These symptoms I can’t really alleviate the I can with pain and stiffness.
The list includes: dizzy, exhaustion, lethargy, light headed, unsteady on my feet, upright is hard. The longer I remain upright, the harder it is to do so. Shakes, swelling, feeling like I’m going to faint. Ugh.
I’m going to be breaking up my posts like this for the near future. Writing out one daily post is apparently very daunting for my brain so in an effort to post more regularly, I am trying this. Kinda like bullet journaling.
Arthritis isn’t too bad. I thank Plaquenil (Hydroxychloroquine) for that. I started back on a month before my daughter was born, it was supposed to be two months but she decided to show up a month early. I had a second c-section which did nothing good for the pain in my hips. Severe pain at least once a week. Moderate to heavy pain three to four days a week, mild to moderate pain daily. Occasion instances of the pain shooting down to include my knee. Some ligament related pain in lower abdominal area. I can move around for about fifteen minutes before the “ground up glass” feeling starts in my hip. It generally the right, occasionally the left or both hurt, more often then not it is the right side. This effects my sleep and mobility. Right ankle and foot flaring up about once a month. Some swelling in hands. Having real trouble twisting things with my right hand (door handles, water taps, bottle caps, jars, etc). Walking up and down the stairs is quite painful. My jaw has been very painful at times ane very sensitive to stress and petetative mivemwnts. Hips and jaw are the main complaints with arthritis.
Joints were only mildly cranky, mostly due to work. Fibro pain was bad today. A few light headed moments. Had a late walk and missed my bus, watched it drive by as I was painfully trying to book it up the stairs. I just about burst into tears. When I got up the last flight my wonderful hubby and the child were waiting for me to drive me home. SO happy to see them. My mid-spine is quite painful today. I’ve never been sure if that pain is FM or PA related. I discovered this evening that I have lost the ability to use a mortar and pestle. I know I can pick up an electric grinder for like $10 but it’s not about the ease of which I can replace using my hands; It’s about the fact it’s one more thing I’ve lost the ability to do with my hands. I am displeased but too tired and worn out to really get bent out of shape about it. I’m VERY slowly putting together a batch of banana-carrot-zucchini muffins, and by slowly I mean I started an hour ago. *silly face* They will be good when they are finally done. Hanging out with my son is great. I don’t get to see him nearly enough right now. Last week I did routine blood tests ordered by my rheumatologist. I think they are just to make sure all my organs are happy since I am generally on medication at all times. I’m supposed to get them done every six months but I haven’t gotten them done in about a year. My GP’s office called today to come in and talk about it, so I go do that tomorrow. I don’t think there is actually anything to worry about. My rheumatologist put me back on Plaquenil after I stopped it on the advice of my GP about 9 months ago. Said in my case it is more stressful on my body and worse for conception/pregnancy to be off than on. There have been rare cases of children born with some hearing loss. I’m back on it though and very happy about it. A few more weeks and I’ll start to feel some real difference in pain levels. New studies have also pointed to anti-inflammatories causing issues with egg implantation, rheumatoloist said it’s not anything to worry about with folks who get pregnant easily but since I do have issues with that we have taken off of any anti-inflammatory drugs.
I’m back from one of my usual breaks. No matter how hard I try I can’t seem to write EVERY day and stop for months at a time in a pretty regular cycle. My most recent discovery is that really warm weather makes me really sore, the high pressure doesn’t get along with my joints. Still not as bad as when the weather turns crappy like it has been the last few weeks. LOTS of rain, seems Mother Nature is making up for the dry summer. With the cooler temperatures the pain and stiffness, particularly in my hips, feet, shoulders and hands. Certain joints in my feet have been giving me grief. The Raynaud’s Phenomena in my feet has gotten steadily worse, my toes are pretty much icicles all the time now. Drives me bonkers, I hate it. The cooler weather has also woken up the pain in my upper back, so I’ve been feeling pretty sore and tired and frustrated. There’s been no change in medication or anything like that. My body has almost completely reverted to it’s super food sensitive state. In December I will be going back to see my Rheumatologist, so I’m looking forward to that. Psoriasis is getting more noticeable on my scalp and eyebrows, still very mild though all and all.
Things have been busy. The Little Man is walking and getting into everything. It’s also summer which means camping trips and such. I was feeling really good with all this heat. I did my best not to complain because it got REALLY hot REALLY fast. Something has gone funny under the surface though. It’s still warm but things feel broken again. I am seriously thinking about investing in a barometre so I get some warning at least. The burning pain of the infamous “T-Zone” has been mild. Hands/wrists, hips, ankles and feet have been bad. The second joint of my right big toe, the Medial Cuneiform, hurts A LOT and makes walking an interesting adventure…here’s a picture:
My shoulders have been pretty bad this week too. My right one is particularly pissed off, I did something to it picking up the boychild last night. I’ve been experimenting with only taking my afternoon dose of Lyrica if I feel crappy. Not sure of that’s affecting how sore I’ve been lately or not. Either way, it sucks. The Psoriasis on my head is getting pretty bad, I can actually see the red scaly spots now.
Woke up in a lot of pain this morning, an 8-9. Bad stiffness, pulsing body pain, particularly bad in my hands and wrists. I’m exhausted emotionally and physically. I feel empty, drained. But I am taking great joy in watching my son crawl around the house, learning new things, surprising me with his comprehension. I asked him if he wanted milk, he nodded his head yes. I had suspicions that he was starting to understand what that meant, it’s really neat to actually see it in action though.
The reason I am feeling the way I am today is due largely in part to my day yesterday. My cousin, a cousin who I loved very much, was killed a couple weeks ago while operating heavy machinery at work. He was a young man with small children and a very amazing human being. His funeral was yesterday in Courtenay. Getting there involves a two hour ferry ride and a two hour drive both ways, 8 hours of travel. And then a very moving ceremony. While it has helped me begin my healing process, my acceptance of what has happened, it was exhausting and extremely hard for me.
My jaw is trying to explode again. Feels like someone is jabbing an icepick into the bottom left spot where the wisdom tooth used to be. Starting to wonder if I should go to the dentist. It’s not just the one spot that hurts, the other side hurts in the same spot as do the joints themselves.
Okay. Moderately productive day. Didn’t get to laze around as much as I wanted but I got some good down time in. Since I took some painkillers at 5am when the Little Man woke us up around 9am I wasn’t feeling too bad in the pain department. Just tired. Hands are doing the dry, cracking, bleeding thing. Doesn’t matter how much or what kind of moisturiser I put on. I’m thinking of putting on some of my steroid cream before bed. Here’s to hoping the little guy goes to sleep soon.
Today: Naproxen x 1, Acetemetophen & Methacarbanol (a muscle relaxer) x 1, Wellbutrin 300mg, Lyrica 150mg, Cipralex 20mg, Cymbalta 30mg
Back from the dead so to speak, once again. The little man is keeping me very busy. I can’t believe he will be seven months old in a week. He has two teeth already and is teething like mad which makes him very clingy and sometimes a little screaming terror. He is the light of my life though.
It’s cold and dreary. This of course wreaks havoc on my joints. The plaquenil is definitely helping but it’s not like it goes away entirely. I have had some really intense stabbing pains in my fingers and wrists. Both joints in the thumb and the middle knuckles of the pointer, middle and ring finger of both hands. The infamous “T Zone” is really bad. Not as bad as it was, I think the drugs might be working for that too. I also have an exercise the physiotherapist showed me that helps ease the burning/numb feeling. Two doses of Tylenol Arthritis a day is necessary on top of the prescription drugs. I tested the theory a few weeks ago, which I do from time to time to see if I can just run on the prescriptions, it was a bad idea. I will wait until the weather is nice and warm before I even think about trying that again. The usual pain and dull ache in the major joints, certain movements cause a stabbing sensation in my upper back now that actually takes my breath away. Nausea, headaches, anxiety, agoraphobia, depression, the cold that will not end. And speaking of cold there is the cold toes. So cold they hurt, which of course refuse to warm up. Once I do get them warmed up if I uncover them or walk around too long without slippers they go right back to the frozen state. Appetite is minimal. Weight loss is coming slowly. My period is back to it’s usual trying to kill me mode. TMI ALERT: heavy clotted flow for almost the whole week….ugh. I have started getting flaky red spots on my eyebrows and my skull, with full on scaling at times. Looks like psoriasis, told the doc what it looked like (of course it went away by the time I got to the office) and he agreed that’s what it sounded like. It’s coming back again so I’m going to get pictures. Pretty much nails the arthritis down to psoriatic.
That being said the little man keeps me happy. I just snuggle him or play with him and it helps immensely. Doesn’t help with getting out of the house though. I know I really need to get out but it’s hard to get motivated. He needs to get out too but with the weather it’s hard to get around. My usual habit of walking around the mall is impossible right now, too many people, makes for panic attacks, and I have to ativan left. I may feel awful a good portion of the time but life is still good. I have friends and family I love, a roof over my head and food in the cupboards.