Asshole Ankle

I remember as a child, the joy of leaping from trees, that high of free fall, the solid thud when my feet hit the ground. While I have never liked falling, it never used to slow me down. When my disorders flared and kicked in falls became devastating. My first serious fall was the first year I lived in Surrey. I was trying out for track and field, the relay race, and totally bailed into the gravel. It was my right knee that failed me then. I started seeing doctors shortly after that, I was 14 I believe.

Last night I had my first serious fall inside. I have bailed a few times when wandering about the forest and stuff but most of those could be traced back to a physical object of some sort making my uncooperative meatsuit fail.

Last night all I did was lift up onto the ball of my right foot to climb up onto my very high bed.

I felt my ankle give, it’s not an unfamiliar feeling. Since I severely sprained it dog walking it’s always been extra pissy. The issues with my metatarsal joints just made worse by my defective connective tissue being stretched out more by the injury. So that didn’t surprise me. What did surprise me was landing on my back on the floor. Usually I can compensate and kind of bypass it, kind of hauling myself up with brute strength.

I guess the combination of barometric pressure crash, plus exhaustion, plus everything flaring…but yeah. Regardless I hit the floor hard and while I have no bruises I am tender, both physically and mentally. I needed to use my cane in the house for the first time. Which also happens to be the first time I have used the cane I got from my Uncle, who passed away in November.

I had a good cry about it then put the new rubber bottom on. It’s a lot nicer to use than my all metal one, I assume because the wood absorbs some of the shock. I’m going to have to talk to the doctor about this ankle. Since getting my orthotics the ankle pain is rare. Obviously now I know it’s still fucky and I might need more effective hardware to protect the joint.

Annual Rheumatologist Appointment 2018

Saw my Rheumatologist today[Wednesday, September 12th 2018], here is the yearly update:

All labs are good.

My arthritis is very well controlled, can’t do much about Angry Ankle and Pissy Foot, it’s just life with arthritis. Meds remain unchanged.

Which are:

Hydroxychloroquine(dosage based on wright), Naproxen 500mg × 2 daily, Acetaminophen as needed, Cyclobenzaprine 10mg x 1 daily, Rabeprazole 10mg x 1 daily, Cannabis as needed.

The extra aches and pains can be attributed to my Chronic Pain Disorder. My Rheumatologist told me today she really doesn’t like the name Fibromyalgia because it implies muscle pain, when it is really a pain disorder. Things hurt. There doesn’t need to be anything specific even there for it to hurt.

Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease is still very mild. It’s not even something we talk about anymore.

She had not seen my physical or mental assessments from WorkBC. She agreed that, physically, I am capable of gentle part time work.

Was very insistent about me starting an exercise program. Just walking isn’t enough. Maintaining mobility as well as keeping muscle tone is important.

My arthritis symptoms are overall BETTER because I’m working part time.

Eyebrows are developing annual mild psoriasis. A new spot, about the size of a loonie, has appeared on my left ankle. So now my ankles match. It’s barely noticable right now but it was documented.

So overall my I’m holding up rather well in the physical department.

Heat Wave and Disappointments

Ugh. That is the word of the day. It’s hot, we are having a heat wave this weekend. Highs in the 30C area, at night it’s about 15-20C. Wreaks havoc with my chronic illness. The kids had a rough week, the older is still having sleeping/eating/meltdown issues as well as teething (he lost his first tooth and the adult tooth replacing it is coming in fast), the younger is teething and growing so eating and waking a lot. My Mom brought me her old mobility scooter now that we’ve moved and have the space to store it, that’s been very helpful. It helped me get out to see her yesterday for her birthday. It’s now been a week since my surgery, healing is slow as I expected it to be (there’s a whole post in the works for that). I’m having issues getting up and down the stairs today. We got a good walk in though to loosen things up. There is a family gathering tonight that I completely forgot about that we aren’t going to. This has upset people greatly. I hate how taking care of myself leads to unhappiness and disappointment in others, let alone myself. I’m enjoying the time with my husband and kids today but I’m really unhappy about people being unhappy with me for taking care of myself. Well they aren’t unhappy with me personally, at least I hope not. Just sad about the situation. Thing is this same person gives me crap for not getting enough rest and self care and whatnot. Just feels like I can’t make anyone happy, least of all myself.
I’m seriously considering medication for depression again. Probably Wellbutrin since it will help with the smoking. I also need something for my Fibromyalgia, and need to discuss my worsening joint pain and such. My rheumatologist moved my May appointment to August. It will be almost a year between appointments. I am not pleased with my current quality of care. I can’t even find a family doctor close to my new home, I don’t think finding a new rheumatologist is going to be any easier. I need a vacation from life or something.