New or Worsening Symptoms – 5/8/2017

  • Dizziness
  • Vertigo
  • Almost fainting
  • Black outs, for a second or two, usually related to almost fainting
  • Memory recall is getting REALLY bad, the “cut off” point, or where my memory starts to get really bad, are memories after my mid to late twenties
  • Nausea
  • Feeling weak/shakey
  • New and worsening psoriasis, the white patching variety not plaques
  • Mild swelling in ankles, wrists, fingers
  • IBS flare
  • Headaches

March 25th, 2017

Edited to add: Did some very gentle hip opening stretching, did get a small amount of relief for a moderate period of time. Also did some stretches for my neck/t-zone that a physical therapist taught me when I was pregnant with Fintan. 
Pretty awful today overall. A lot of myofacial pain, some joint pain. Joint pain on the right side; wrist, hip, ankle. My spine, t-zone included, also bad. Nausea, hot/cold flashes, sweats, sinus congestion, mucousy cough lingers. Nerve/spine pain is bad right this second. My jaw has been very painful, a headache accompanies this of course. There was some major upheavals yesterday, I’m guessing that’s why I feel extra awful today. Stupid stress hormones.

Still managed to care for two kids mostly myself, make breakfast/lunch/dinner, also got a nap thanks to my spouse. Oh and Little Bug (the baby) woke up at 3am and didn’t really go back to sleep. She’s a handful right now. Four months old today, so she is hitting a growth spurt plus sleep regression and teething. Plus my son has been acting out more due to the changes. Still seriously considering getting him assessed. He’s been having bad screaming fits when upset/angry/frustrated. He’s a great big brother, I’m really proud of him.

I have a good friend coming to visit tomorrow. We’ve managed to hang out almost every Sunday for the past month and a bit. Mainly because they come here. So that will be nice. Kidlets will be off visiting with my parents. 

Hopefully I feel less like shit tomorrow.

Arthritis, Joints, and Such- March 20, 2017

I’m going to be breaking up my posts like this for the near future. Writing out one daily post is apparently very daunting for my brain so in an effort to post more regularly, I am trying this. Kinda like bullet journaling.

Arthritis isn’t too bad. I thank Plaquenil (Hydroxychloroquine) for that. I started back on a month before my daughter was born, it was supposed to be two months but she decided to show up a month early. I had a second c-section which did nothing good for the pain in my hips. Severe pain at least once a week. Moderate to heavy pain three to four days a week, mild to moderate pain daily. Occasion instances of the pain shooting down to include my knee. Some ligament related pain in lower abdominal area. I can move around for about fifteen minutes before the “ground up glass” feeling starts in my hip. It generally the right, occasionally the left or both hurt, more often then not it is the right side. This effects my sleep and mobility. Right ankle and foot flaring up about once a month. Some swelling in hands. Having real trouble twisting things with my right hand (door handles, water taps, bottle caps, jars, etc). Walking up and down the stairs is quite painful. My jaw has been very painful at times ane very sensitive to stress and petetative mivemwnts. Hips and jaw are the main complaints with arthritis.

Hair Things – March 2017

This is a documentation post. I need to remember to show these photos to the doctor. Or well not the photos but the corresponding spots on my head. 

The spots that I thought were mild psoriasis may actually eczema on my scalp. I’m hoping to get a picture of the spot on my ankle and my forehead when they flare up again. The red patches don’t show up well at all but there are discoloured bits in the photo at least. The thinning a bit above each temple is getting worse. It’s starting to remind me of male pattern baldness. I’m shedding a lot of hair right now but I assume that is post pregnancy things.

The first few pictures have a bit of the scaling/flakes.

January 1st, 2017

A new year and my usual “resolution” to write more often. We’ll see how it goes this this time.

Pain: 6-7

I’m trying to be more accurate with my pain scale. 1 being negligible pain and 10 being bed ridden. Well as bed ridden as I can be with two kids. My daughter decided to show up four weeks early on November 25th, 2016. Outside of some issues regulating her blood sugar in the first 24 hours and 4 day stay in the hospital for jaundice treatment she is good and healthy. She was 6lbs 7oz, only 8oz lighter then her brother but seems so much smaller. Breast feeding is going really well, WAY better then it went with my son, which is doing my mental state some good. We’ve had A LOT of out of the ordinary weather, a lot of arctic outflow reaching is and giving us a good amount of snow. We did our best not to overdo it with visits over the holidays and are trying not to overdo the newborn visits as well. Folks can come here if they want to see her. I’ve been feeling really awful the last few days, my pain levels are down at least. It’s a combination of a lot of factors, taking care of a newborn and a four year old adjusting to a newborn, holiday stress (positive and negative stress), weather patterns, eating a whole bunch of crunchy food that seriously pissed off my jaw(arthritis and TMJ). I’m utterly exhausted, easily irritated. My body has a “pain pulse”, pain pulses through my joints and muscles like a heart beat. My reproductive psychiatrist is confident I am not showing signs of Post Partem Depression but we need to make sure I’m okay. She reccomends better self care, counseling, and if needed I can bump my Paxil up from 40mg a day to 50mg. I’m seriously considering bumping it up today. I’m doing a bit better with self care. We have dinner at my parents later, which as much as I don’t want to leave the house it will be nice to see them and not have to make dinner. There will also be presents which is fun. I’m hoping my feeling awful isn’t the start of the post pregnancy flare up. I was hoping that awfulness would wait until the three month mark like it did with my son. I’m hoping to do some posts this year that aren’t just my daily log. We’ll see what I can come up with.

Fear and Loathing

image

So I shared this meme today on my Facebook page. An acquaintance asked why do it then, as in why hate my body. I answered that I can’t help it sometimes. I’ve waxed all philosophical about it and decided I needed to write an actual blog post about it. As the title alludes to, there is a lot of fear and loathing involved in my relationship with my body. It’s never been an overly healthy thing. That’s the toss up for hopping out of the womb three months early and surviving, I guess. I caught pneumonia for the first time at one week old. For all the sickness I had as a child, none of it was a disability. My body generally worked, my immune system was just crappy. I think I was seven or eight the first time my knees started to ache. Younger for the first angry colon/bladder incidents. It still wasn’t until I was thirteen or fourteen where things really started to fall apart. I remember trying out for track and field at my new elementary school, having just moved to Surrey. As I sprinted across the field, fully expecting my legs to piston as always regardless of pain, the first real fear moment struck. It didn’t hurt a lot, my knee just refused to take my weight, and into the gravel I went. It would take a few years of debilitating knee pain for the loathing to start. When your body hurts every day, for no particular reason, you eventually start feeling pissy with it. This acquaintance, like a lot of people who don’t live with chronic pain, says I always have a choice in how I view my body. In reality, I really don’t. Chronic illness and pain do a number on the brain chemistry. So while sometimes I can pull myself out of the more, a lot of the time I can’t.