April 1st, 2016

I’ve been feeling awful, as my lack of posts usually indicates. I’m still feeling awful but answering a concerned email from a dear friend reminded me how therapeutic writing is. So I’m pretty much forcing myself to write this.

Spring is here, officially and otherwise, which means all sorts of pain for me. The fluctuating barometer and temperature means very stiff and painful joints. The pollen levels are also epic, ’tis the season of allergy meds and ventolin. I love this season but my body does not. Hands, forearms, elbows, shoulders, spine, hips, and right foot are all bad. Fibro is still flaring it’s ugly head. The stress is high.

Anxiety is running hot and hard, and in none of the good ways that can be thought up. Went from twenty to fourty mg’s of Paxil. Been smoking a lot of cigarettes which really does not help anything but old habits die hard when not well. Taking that one moment at a time right now. I’ve also been gorging on junkfood but not doing so well in the proper food department. Not drinking nearly enough water either. Note to self and all. I want to go mostly gluten free again and more vegetarian fare. Will be working on this.

I am bone tired. I want to go to the beach. I want to go camping.

Signing off for now.

30 January 2016

I’m too tired to write out all the things I need to but wanted to check in. I’ve waited far too long to take my second dose of painkillers and my brain is mush. I know better than to push back drug times just because I’m feeling okay. Today was a rough day mentally. Physically I’m mostly exhausted. Except for the last hour where the pulse of pain throbbing along my nerves has steadily increased. I’ve realized I’m lumping all my pain together again so in the future I will be changing the format of my posts to clarify things a bit. The child needs to go to bed too, it’s actually past his bed time. I’m too sore and tired to move.

Fuck you Fibromyalgia. And fuck you shitty economy that forces me to work. And fuck you arthritis while I’m at it.

A lot of changes are coming. Hopefully it will all work out and I will feel a bit better and will have more time to write and such.

Much love. 💜🙏🏻

Hair Cut

So this happened. The original undercut was done by a professional. Over the last week I’ve gone up higher underneath, trimmed it RIGHT back, then hit the sides up this morning.

  
Besides taking a deal of weight off of my head, and in turn my spine, it has other nifty uses. I can do this.

   

    
 This makes my little trans heart all kinds of happy. But because my gender is fluid and I have as many female days as male, I made sure I could still do this. Because, you know, nothing about me has ever been simple or static.
I’m like Superman.

*silly smiles*