Ugh. That is the word of the day. It’s hot, we are having a heat wave this weekend. Highs in the 30C area, at night it’s about 15-20C. Wreaks havoc with my chronic illness. The kids had a rough week, the older is still having sleeping/eating/meltdown issues as well as teething (he lost his first tooth and the adult tooth replacing it is coming in fast), the younger is teething and growing so eating and waking a lot. My Mom brought me her old mobility scooter now that we’ve moved and have the space to store it, that’s been very helpful. It helped me get out to see her yesterday for her birthday. It’s now been a week since my surgery, healing is slow as I expected it to be (there’s a whole post in the works for that). I’m having issues getting up and down the stairs today. We got a good walk in though to loosen things up. There is a family gathering tonight that I completely forgot about that we aren’t going to. This has upset people greatly. I hate how taking care of myself leads to unhappiness and disappointment in others, let alone myself. I’m enjoying the time with my husband and kids today but I’m really unhappy about people being unhappy with me for taking care of myself. Well they aren’t unhappy with me personally, at least I hope not. Just sad about the situation. Thing is this same person gives me crap for not getting enough rest and self care and whatnot. Just feels like I can’t make anyone happy, least of all myself.
I’m seriously considering medication for depression again. Probably Wellbutrin since it will help with the smoking. I also need something for my Fibromyalgia, and need to discuss my worsening joint pain and such. My rheumatologist moved my May appointment to August. It will be almost a year between appointments. I am not pleased with my current quality of care. I can’t even find a family doctor close to my new home, I don’t think finding a new rheumatologist is going to be any easier. I need a vacation from life or something.
Gods my joints hurt so much, particularly my legs. I fell on Wednesday last week, full face plant onto the sidewalk, with the added fun of my six month old rolling into traffic in her stroller.
Good times. *sarcasm*
I had a scraped knee and a sore ankle, things have been hurting more as the days go along. Shoulders are bad, as are hips. Ankle and knees are now acting up, particularly on the right sides (the knee that hit the ground first when I fell). My spine has also been really painful.
Yesterday I pushed the patio door closed and managed to mess up my left hand. Spouse says it sounds like a work injury he’s had a few times. Seems to be nerve related. My whole left arm hurts though when it gets going.
The weather is shifty as well which never helps.
Uhm. What else. In the last four weeks we have painted, packed, moved, cleaned two different places, and mostly unpacked into our new place. Had my sons fifth birthday two weeks after we moved in.
Oh and I’m smoking 5-10 cigarettes a day currently.
Madness I tell you.
Gods I forgot what a major emotional episode does to my body. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. Ugh.
Edited to add: Did some very gentle hip opening stretching, did get a small amount of relief for a moderate period of time. Also did some stretches for my neck/t-zone that a physical therapist taught me when I was pregnant with Fintan.
Pretty awful today overall. A lot of myofacial pain, some joint pain. Joint pain on the right side; wrist, hip, ankle. My spine, t-zone included, also bad. Nausea, hot/cold flashes, sweats, sinus congestion, mucousy cough lingers. Nerve/spine pain is bad right this second. My jaw has been very painful, a headache accompanies this of course. There was some major upheavals yesterday, I’m guessing that’s why I feel extra awful today. Stupid stress hormones.
Still managed to care for two kids mostly myself, make breakfast/lunch/dinner, also got a nap thanks to my spouse. Oh and Little Bug (the baby) woke up at 3am and didn’t really go back to sleep. She’s a handful right now. Four months old today, so she is hitting a growth spurt plus sleep regression and teething. Plus my son has been acting out more due to the changes. Still seriously considering getting him assessed. He’s been having bad screaming fits when upset/angry/frustrated. He’s a great big brother, I’m really proud of him.
I have a good friend coming to visit tomorrow. We’ve managed to hang out almost every Sunday for the past month and a bit. Mainly because they come here. So that will be nice. Kidlets will be off visiting with my parents.
Hopefully I feel less like shit tomorrow.
I’m going to be breaking up my posts like this for the near future. Writing out one daily post is apparently very daunting for my brain so in an effort to post more regularly, I am trying this. Kinda like bullet journaling.
Arthritis isn’t too bad. I thank Plaquenil (Hydroxychloroquine) for that. I started back on a month before my daughter was born, it was supposed to be two months but she decided to show up a month early. I had a second c-section which did nothing good for the pain in my hips. Severe pain at least once a week. Moderate to heavy pain three to four days a week, mild to moderate pain daily. Occasion instances of the pain shooting down to include my knee. Some ligament related pain in lower abdominal area. I can move around for about fifteen minutes before the “ground up glass” feeling starts in my hip. It generally the right, occasionally the left or both hurt, more often then not it is the right side. This effects my sleep and mobility. Right ankle and foot flaring up about once a month. Some swelling in hands. Having real trouble twisting things with my right hand (door handles, water taps, bottle caps, jars, etc). Walking up and down the stairs is quite painful. My jaw has been very painful at times ane very sensitive to stress and petetative mivemwnts. Hips and jaw are the main complaints with arthritis.
A new year and my usual “resolution” to write more often. We’ll see how it goes this this time.
I’m trying to be more accurate with my pain scale. 1 being negligible pain and 10 being bed ridden. Well as bed ridden as I can be with two kids. My daughter decided to show up four weeks early on November 25th, 2016. Outside of some issues regulating her blood sugar in the first 24 hours and 4 day stay in the hospital for jaundice treatment she is good and healthy. She was 6lbs 7oz, only 8oz lighter then her brother but seems so much smaller. Breast feeding is going really well, WAY better then it went with my son, which is doing my mental state some good. We’ve had A LOT of out of the ordinary weather, a lot of arctic outflow reaching is and giving us a good amount of snow. We did our best not to overdo it with visits over the holidays and are trying not to overdo the newborn visits as well. Folks can come here if they want to see her. I’ve been feeling really awful the last few days, my pain levels are down at least. It’s a combination of a lot of factors, taking care of a newborn and a four year old adjusting to a newborn, holiday stress (positive and negative stress), weather patterns, eating a whole bunch of crunchy food that seriously pissed off my jaw(arthritis and TMJ). I’m utterly exhausted, easily irritated. My body has a “pain pulse”, pain pulses through my joints and muscles like a heart beat. My reproductive psychiatrist is confident I am not showing signs of Post Partem Depression but we need to make sure I’m okay. She reccomends better self care, counseling, and if needed I can bump my Paxil up from 40mg a day to 50mg. I’m seriously considering bumping it up today. I’m doing a bit better with self care. We have dinner at my parents later, which as much as I don’t want to leave the house it will be nice to see them and not have to make dinner. There will also be presents which is fun. I’m hoping my feeling awful isn’t the start of the post pregnancy flare up. I was hoping that awfulness would wait until the three month mark like it did with my son. I’m hoping to do some posts this year that aren’t just my daily log. We’ll see what I can come up with.