August 17th 2015-Morning 

Obviously I wrote this a few days ago. I meant to do an evening post as well but was too tired.
I hurt constantly and enough the I can’t just push it to the back of my mind. It’s a constant companion, sitting on my shoulder, whispering in my ear. It’s exhausting. I find I am very short tempered and prone to yelling. The pain doesn’t just sit in my joints, it now travels through my veins. I know once I get moving some of it will ease. It’s a temporary relief, once I sit down again for a bit the muscles aches will return once I start moving again. Part of my exhaustion is due to lack of fuel, my appetite is pretty non existent. I do get hungry but I’m usually too lethargic(tired,sore,etc) to get up or out and not willing to stop to eat. While the heat and my chronic illnesses do most of the damage to my eating habits, a lot of it is lack of self care. I’m particularly bad with self care the worse I feel. If I stop to acknowledge how I feel, I have to accept how awful I actually feel; To do proper self care would be to go home and lay down for a few days. 

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