May 20, 2015

Sometimes the pain and exhaustion feels like a suffocating wave. I held it together for the day while I was out. My right side has been causing more pain then the left. Still hurts on the left but it is rarely debilitating. I knew after the first block or so of walking that it was going to be really painful later on. I did my best to take it easy. As soon as I lay down on my bed when I got home it started in my hip, then the ankle, now the knee and a twinge coming on in the shoulder. The pain has a life of it’s own when it gets this bad. It has a pulse. A personality. You find yourself bargaining with it. I’m scared because now that I’m finished my arthritis meds everything is going to get worse and worse. Until I get pregnant anyways, and that’s if I go into remission this time. We need to hurry up and move and get the tenant in so more cash starts flowing so I can stop working.

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One thought on “May 20, 2015

  1. Oh girl I can totally relate with the bargaining. When my arthritis acts up, I bargain with my body to “just” let me deal with “only” the Crohn’s instead of the arthritis pain… and when the Crohn’s acts up, I bargain again for the opposite.
    I love what you said about pain having a personality and a pulse — it absolutely does. I need to think more on that because I love that statement, it makes perfect sense.
    Sending you love and healing energy.

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