October 13th, 2011

Good Morning folks.

I feel sore and stiff but pretty God damned happy. I’ve never quit a job in my life. Until today. And I’m not even giving them the courtesy of a phone call. I was hyperventilating while trying to leave the house. And the thought of calling made it worse. So yeah. I’m done. And of all the people I’ve worked for they were by far the worst. So I don’t feel bad about not going or not calling. I just can’t do it anymore. I still feel pretty stressed, cuz I know they’re gonna call at some point…calls I don’t plan on answering…once that’s over and done with I will feel much better. I think I’ll go down to the garden around the time they will be calling and just hang out with my plants.

I don’t think everybody in my life is going to be exactly pleased about it but they’ll just have to suck it up. It’s HIGH time I stopped dictating my life around what others want and need and started focusing on what my body is telling me. I mean Hell, if Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromylagia aren’t damn good reasons to stop doing this and take care of myself, the raging anxiety and depression should be. I feel like a bit of a knob because I still feel like I need “permission” to be doing this. I’m 29 years old! Why do I need permission??? Let alone the laundry list of health issues. So, I will spend my day wrapped up in cozy blankets, finish applying for the stay at home part time call centre job I found, and let the Universe take care of the rest. Will update as needed.

General rundown: headache, nausea, raging anxiety(which is slowly abating), exhaustion, stiff, tender, tingling fingers and toes, tightening muscles around spine, burning pain starting in right shoulder

Pain: 6

Mood: 7.5

Meds: Wellbutrin x 1

Weather: Cold, slightly overcast, 6°, pressure 102.50 kPa and rising

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