October 5th, 2011

It’s raining. It’s cold. We all know what this does to me.

This is day two of not being at work. I won’t go into details but let’s just say that work is NOT WORKING for me. And I’m not going back. The place gives me so much bloody anxiety that I had to get my hubby to call them for me yesterday to tell them I wouldn’t be coming in today either. I was getting the general impression that I wasn’t going to be there much longer anyways. Apparently I was the first person they had hired for the position that had stayed for more than two months. That’s enough on that subject though. It’s done and over with. Well, it will be after my doctor’s appointment today.

Weird dreams again. Apparently I was Sailor Moon and Rob was Tuxedo Kamen(Tuxedo Mask for any of you who only know about the North American version). In some warehouse with row upon row of freezer’s full of food, and shelves of beverages. The Inner and Outer Senshei were there too. And then it morphed, still the same place but it was some sort of prison and there were about 6 guys who were trying to help their one buddy in a wheelchair escape. They found this map and followed this tunnel and got him out. Then I followed wheel chair guy around. Like I said. Weird.

For other reasons I won’t get into at the moment I have stopped taking everything but my antidepressants. Needless to say, this seriously screws with my ability to do much of anything. It has also left me feeling overly emotional and fragile. Today is better than yesterday, but it still sucks.

Today will be another tea and blankets day.

So above are pictures I took of my hands when I first woke up this morning. Beats me if anyone can actually tell what’s wrong with them. But I can. Knuckles are swollen, red, and stiff. They kind of feel like there’s water balloons around them. I’ve been awake for a few hours now and  it’s gone down a little bit. I figured some actual photo documentation might be helpful in giving people a better idea of what my body does.

Anyways. Will update later.

Meds:

Supplements:

Pain: 7

Stiffness: 7

Mood: 6

Weather: Rain, 12 °, 82% humidity, wind E 17 km/h, pressure 99.88 kPa

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