CW: poop, expletives
Look below the cut.
CW: poop, expletives
Look below the cut.
Ugh. That is the word of the day. It’s hot, we are having a heat wave this weekend. Highs in the 30C area, at night it’s about 15-20C. Wreaks havoc with my chronic illness. The kids had a rough week, the older is still having sleeping/eating/meltdown issues as well as teething (he lost his first tooth and the adult tooth replacing it is coming in fast), the younger is teething and growing so eating and waking a lot. My Mom brought me her old mobility scooter now that we’ve moved and have the space to store it, that’s been very helpful. It helped me get out to see her yesterday for her birthday. It’s now been a week since my surgery, healing is slow as I expected it to be (there’s a whole post in the works for that). I’m having issues getting up and down the stairs today. We got a good walk in though to loosen things up. There is a family gathering tonight that I completely forgot about that we aren’t going to. This has upset people greatly. I hate how taking care of myself leads to unhappiness and disappointment in others, let alone myself. I’m enjoying the time with my husband and kids today but I’m really unhappy about people being unhappy with me for taking care of myself. Well they aren’t unhappy with me personally, at least I hope not. Just sad about the situation. Thing is this same person gives me crap for not getting enough rest and self care and whatnot. Just feels like I can’t make anyone happy, least of all myself.
I’m seriously considering medication for depression again. Probably Wellbutrin since it will help with the smoking. I also need something for my Fibromyalgia, and need to discuss my worsening joint pain and such. My rheumatologist moved my May appointment to August. It will be almost a year between appointments. I am not pleased with my current quality of care. I can’t even find a family doctor close to my new home, I don’t think finding a new rheumatologist is going to be any easier. I need a vacation from life or something.
Gods my joints hurt so much, particularly my legs. I fell on Wednesday last week, full face plant onto the sidewalk, with the added fun of my six month old rolling into traffic in her stroller.
Good times. *sarcasm*
I had a scraped knee and a sore ankle, things have been hurting more as the days go along. Shoulders are bad, as are hips. Ankle and knees are now acting up, particularly on the right sides (the knee that hit the ground first when I fell). My spine has also been really painful.
Yesterday I pushed the patio door closed and managed to mess up my left hand. Spouse says it sounds like a work injury he’s had a few times. Seems to be nerve related. My whole left arm hurts though when it gets going.
The weather is shifty as well which never helps.
Uhm. What else. In the last four weeks we have painted, packed, moved, cleaned two different places, and mostly unpacked into our new place. Had my sons fifth birthday two weeks after we moved in.
Oh and I’m smoking 5-10 cigarettes a day currently.
Madness I tell you.
Gods I forgot what a major emotional episode does to my body. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. Ugh.
I’m averaging two canker (or mouth) sores a month right now. This works out to at least two weeks of random excruciating pain. They don’t hurt all the time but if I hit them just right it’s awful. The most recent one is in the middle of my tongue which is a much better spot then it usually is, on the tip of my tongue. I can usually trace the irritation
Edited to add: Did some very gentle hip opening stretching, did get a small amount of relief for a moderate period of time. Also did some stretches for my neck/t-zone that a physical therapist taught me when I was pregnant with Fintan.
Pretty awful today overall. A lot of myofacial pain, some joint pain. Joint pain on the right side; wrist, hip, ankle. My spine, t-zone included, also bad. Nausea, hot/cold flashes, sweats, sinus congestion, mucousy cough lingers. Nerve/spine pain is bad right this second. My jaw has been very painful, a headache accompanies this of course. There was some major upheavals yesterday, I’m guessing that’s why I feel extra awful today. Stupid stress hormones.
Still managed to care for two kids mostly myself, make breakfast/lunch/dinner, also got a nap thanks to my spouse. Oh and Little Bug (the baby) woke up at 3am and didn’t really go back to sleep. She’s a handful right now. Four months old today, so she is hitting a growth spurt plus sleep regression and teething. Plus my son has been acting out more due to the changes. Still seriously considering getting him assessed. He’s been having bad screaming fits when upset/angry/frustrated. He’s a great big brother, I’m really proud of him.
I have a good friend coming to visit tomorrow. We’ve managed to hang out almost every Sunday for the past month and a bit. Mainly because they come here. So that will be nice. Kidlets will be off visiting with my parents.
Hopefully I feel less like shit tomorrow.